The strangest aspect of it was that by virtue of my obedience to compulsion I in fact succeeded too greatly in approaching the olympics. Thus, in doing as commanded it became unbelievable to all that I would step away from my ox heart’s task in my effort to escape the UMass false thesis of love. Yet, additionally, there is nothing in the wilderness other than potential.
Admittedly my brain injury, unbeknownst to all, inclusive of myself, was causal of my being abused. I could not have wanted other than University! Blessings to all my cruel and uncaring compatriots. When there is only one greatness… individual, forgotten town, state structured tasks, the globally dominant federation; then what of other than that prescription? And, from whence this omniscient script?
In retrospect I feel the diagnosis of an irreversible, incurable and degenerative brain disease was harsh, despite the fact that I now understand completely that I was maimed by a navy veteran in 1994. Thus, my compulsory service has been a duplicitous combination of a selective service obligation to the 1862 Morrill Act state systematics. Then; to an articulation of Confederal Connecticut in the context of the “void relative to place” under the Morrill Act regionalism specificities: curing an exodus of healthy youth.
And, therefore, reclusiveness has become my behavior despite suffering and confusion being initially identified as a fear or paranoia. There is something about being an externality to your zone. It is as though the pervasive television mantras truly induce a murderous opposition between a universal dichotomy of prescribed arguments of affirmation and negation binary team mentalities. What can knowledge do other than conceal itself and hide. Kill Red! Kill Blue! As you can see, my brain injury makes me terrified of antagonized countrymen with bayonets and amputation saws.
Somehow I learned much in college. A cartographic perspective of the earth and the earthen, including water, vegetation and rock. Yale psychiatry treatment has been my unaccredited federal masters and PhD in Union expansion the likes of the Trapdoor Springfield Saint sequence.
I began with with the Pacific Rail Act’s 1862 contemporaneousness to Morrill and Homestead and with the subsequent expansion of that rail then the Eisenhower era road infrastructure. Such study has taught me to see the winning global paradigm for the American oil age of the last 200 years from the negotiated acquisition of the US interior to the restructuring of Wahhabi, Suni, Shi’a Islam. All this has happened in this most recent bicentennial of the epoch of Christ.
I value my conjoined visions of both biometric island biogeographical wildlife virological speciation and mutagenesis and then that of liquid bio carboniferous fuels depletion based transportation sector collapse as they threaten the destruction of human life and vital mobility. I feel I have given my life in service of my country for good reasons.
Yet, on a personal note as an Olympic and academic conscript; I understand if I were compelled to do all of this for you my observers and readers, if there were any. However, I do not understand why I have been given no reward relative to anything I ever requested or asked for during the processes of my various conscriptions. To have done everything I was ever asked and to have “never served” except for as being the eternally negated, denied mind, person and speech of an SSA beneficiary schizoaffective with no wife to live with me for the remaining 40 years of degenerative, incurable and nonterminal disease is a theological type of pain.
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