I feel, or have felt, that my father insults and dismisses me due to a from whence unknown yet pure disinterest in my heart and mind. Yet, that he “loves” me so fervently as to assure I be relegated to being maintained here alone, in a stasis of some void, sustained, as his pharmacological and agronomical schnitzel gobbling foi gras goose. Here, therefore, am I; within this my real and metaphorical stateroom cerebellum confine of salts and polymers docked synaptically within the aqueous schism of said void and waters.
Only now am I secured, albeit upon this, his “ship” of memories and dreams, by my own federal money and medicine. I, I, finally therefore transcending the excommunicative abandon of his wanton deployment orders and assignments. They, aforementioned, being similarly unavoidable for me to the purported alternate “joy” of some impossible immaculate obedience of his version of myself, -until skeletal waste- to an option of some adherence to a glimmer antithetical to that wretch amidst the wilderness sent, I.
Further, my ostensibly primatological launch trajectory to said place seems to have emanated from the fantastical deluded epicenter of his id. So, I accept and in fact revere that “due to my illness”, I am now liberated from his propensity for base subordination to the menial premises of some -and I here defend him- class or rank theory paranoia. Compounding such; hither he amidst hallowed halls of argument hath his constructs of mind betwixt amidst his fears of some archetypal jungle. The entirety of this, for which, he has built his regimented classical conditioning obedience rituals.
That there aforementioned; if, in fact, he himself is not disassociated from his own command regarding the un-chambered and therefore assumed benign click and snap precision of the requisite obedience regimen to study of this our generational scientific verbosity capability.
In return, I attest to my love for him, and pray this his raging command of from minutia to epochs herby be relieved. And additionally thus; that if it is I who has been said to have abandoned some mission of achieving the highest power of the glimmering cup of aurum, and it’s ciborium of sustenance, then let it be known that such infidelity mine, of aural specter substance, be in the name of love and holy matrimony.
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